London Fast Food: "The Innovator"

Pictured: Research

The meal: Dollar Chicken set the standard. LFF looked at said standard, water boarded it, sent it to Cuba and no ones heard from it since. Imagine the genius of the ageing process of DC, with a perfect spread of mayo, and only the crunchiest piece of iceberg lettuce. That's only the base for LFF. Get home and make sure you're sitting when you open that box, cause you're about to find some cucumbers, tomato, and a healthy handful of white onion. Savour the chicken as it dawns on you that, oh yeah, they seasoned that batter before frying. This is a serious challenge to the old school chicken burger orthodoxy.

Aesthetics: But, alas, a great burger in a terrible restaurant is like having the Mona Lisa in an Ikea frame. LFF aesthetic is best described as "waiting room chic". Heavy halogen lighting washes the otherwise unwashed tile wall. My personal theory is that they have it brighter than a pulsar in order to keep the local drug addicts away.

LFF applies these mistaken design principals to the outside of their building as well. Turning the corner ones eyes are immediately drawn to the sign outside. Inviting you to dine is a cartoon of a dead fish with X eyes, and what is undoubtedly a wood pecker. LFF's management team should reconsider their branding efforts if they want to cement their status as leaders in their field.

Price: 2.50. Burger, chips, and your choice of drink. On a wild night I am known to select the strawberry Fanta with Arabic markings.

Location: Maybe a better name for LFF would be "The Challenger". That's because they set up shop right across the street from Dollar Chicken. I think only the locals of Brixton will benefit from this heated rivalry.

231 Coldharbour Lane, SW9 8RR.

Final Remarks: 8/10. If only the ambience was as the burger. But you can't eat ambience, and that's certainly true if I feel that my retinas are being burnt out.